Everybody Makes Mistakes

“How intoxicating is the triumph of beauty, and how right it is to name it queen of the universe! How many courtiers, how many slaves, have submitted to it! But alas! Why must it be that what flatters our senses almost always deceives our souls?” Madame de Surin

“What is one big mistake that you’ve made in your life, and what did you do to make it right?” The famous question that cost her.

Her slightly shrill voice betrays her.  She sounds nervous but faintly hides it.  But who wouldn’t  be?

“You know what, Sir in my 22 years of existence I can say that there is nothing major major, I mean, problem that I have done in my life. Because I am very confident with my family, with the love that they are giving to me. So, thank you so much that I am here, thank you thank you so much.”

I watched the the video footage of this particular part where Mr. William Baldwin asked her that famous question.  This is what I observed.  Instead of taking a few seconds to ponder the question and contemplate on her answer, she enthusiastically addressed the crowd like a fake politician running for office, and then delivered her shallow answer.

A very simple question, yet she failed to deliver a meaningful answer.  An answer that would have showed her maturity and wisdom at the age of 22…  Instead she made herself appear as if she’s never made mistakes in her entire life; that she’s a perfect goddess.  And  because of this, most people believed, is what killed Maria Venus Raj chances to be crowned Miss Universe 2010.

Perhaps she’s not ready.

But I know I shouldn’t be too hard on Ms. Raj.  The fact that she made it to represent the Philippines on the Miss Universe Pageant, is already a big accomplishment.  And if her life story is true, she’s already accomplished what most beautiful women could only dreamed of accomplishing in their entire lives.

Though her answer reflects youth and immaturity.  Still young, indeed, so that she hasn’t experience the biggest hurdle in life.  She has yet to face her darkest hour, and feel the incinerating pain in her heart and soul.

But her answer is also a reminder of the attitude of most Filipinos.  There are exceptions, yes.  But we are a people whose true feelings about anything are never expressed – or revealed.  It is unnatural for us to openly express our anger and disgust.  To reveal our frailties and inadequacies.  To express our wants and desires.  We give hints, and we expect the other person to interpret our facial expressions and body language.  To understand our true feelings.  To see the truth behind the facade.

And this type of attitude  seems to be more prevalent among the poor and the uneducated.

This is a country where a YES is a NO and a NO is a YES.  We don’t like to admit that we don’t know anything, or that we are guilty of something.  So instead of admitting to our ignorance, we’d answer yes to a question we don’t understand or don’t know the answer to.  Because admitting to not know anything is far too embarrassing.

The word “hiya” which means “shame” “disgrace” and “humiliation” is rooted too deep in our culture.  And Pride.  Which all too often hinders us from developing our true potential; and of becoming the people we aspired to be.  We are never direct or upfront about what we want, or do not want.  We are wishy-washy.

Unless one is exposed to other culture, especially the western culture.  Where a direct answer is expected.  Only then, that one is inclined to change this attitude.  But change takes time.  And this type of attitude that’s been drilled into our soul since we were babies, takes many, many years to undo.

I know.

A typical Filipino would refuse a dinner invitation from a friend, even if he is hungry, have no money or can’t afford it, because accepting would be too embarrassing.  Again, that word “hiya” or shame and pride is at play here.

However, there is a catch.

We only exhibit this attitude towards people who do not know us very well.  A friend.  An acquaintance.  A colleague. A co-worker.

When it comes to family, especially immediate family, and among siblings, the attitude is completely different.  And again, more prevalent with the poor lower class.

There’s the “obligation” to financially help those who are less fortunate.  Guilt is always used.  It is used as a shameful device against a family member who has more, or they think has more.

~~~

I usually don’t pay attention to beauty pageants, except many years ago when I was a teenager.  When Ate Remy and I, my sister’s friend’s nanny, would sit in front of her small black and white television, inside a dark, cramped room, to watch the Miss Philippines’ beauty pageants.

An interesting fact that I discovered, while searching for information about Ms. Raj, is the increasing number of beauty contestants in the Philippines, vying for the coveted Miss Philippines’ title.  Most are mestizas.  Filipino girls mixed with white European or American Caucasian ancestry.

This shouldn’t surprise me.  Because Philippines is a country that worships mestizas and mestizos –  Filipinos of mixed race.  More specifically, Filipinos mixed with white European or American Caucasian race.

So Filipinos who lived abroad, and or have married foreigners, send their daughters back to the Philippines to enter beauty pageants, and or to become models and actors.  And because of the seeming bias to the meztizas or meztizos, they have a much greater chance of winning beauty pageants, or of becoming models and actors.  A chance they would not have had, had they pursue the same things here in the U.S. and Hollywood.

Maria Venus Raj caught my attention as I clicked through several articles about the 2010 Miss Universe.  As it was trending on Yahoo!

At first, it wasn’t her beauty that caught my attention, it was her last name Raj.  Raj is not a Filipino name. So my first thought was, hmmm… she must be half:  Filipino mixed with Arab ancestry.   And then I told myself: you shouldn’t be surprise.  Filipinos work and live around the world, most especially in the Middle East.  They work in different professions – domestic helpers, drivers, nurses, mechanics, engineers, etc.  So I was thinking:  maybe her mom married a rich man with Middle Eastern descent.  But with further Google on the internet, I find that my assumptions were only partly correct.

So, who is Maria Venus Raj?

Her beauty is mesmerizing and intoxicating. No doubt about that.  Extremely tall for a Filipino woman.  But the question remains.

Who is she?

Where is she from?

Why is her last name Raj?

Several videos and news articles written about her revealed this information:

Ms. Raj was born, out of wedlock, in Doha, Qatar to a Filipino mother and an Indian citizen father.  Her mother, Esther Bayonito, who worked in Qatar as a domestic helper, brought her home to the Philippines when she was merely an infant.  She was raised in the town of San Vicente, Batu, Camarines Sur.  She grew up in a nipa hut and her family is a tenant farmer, cultivating rice.

She is the youngest among five siblings.  (I am presuming her mother had four children before she left for Qatar.)

Her mother was too embarrassed to have born a child out-of-wedlock so that she asked her sister, Maria Venus’ aunt to register her daughter birth – as a child born in the Philippines with catholic parents.  (These facts got her dethroned.  But her powerful and moneyed supporters got her crown reinstated.)

How do you go from living in nipa to getting powerful connections?  That’s what I want to know.  Was it her intoxicating beauty that captivated all these people to her aid?

Her mother was offered $60,000 by a wealthy Arab for the child, a fact that both mother and daughter seems proud to reveal to the world.

She started joining beauty pageants since she was 17 years old.   Joined oratorical contest in high school, coached by her English teacher

Obtained college scholarship from Francis Papica Foundation.    Graduated Cum Laude with a Journalism degree from Bicol University – a prestigious university.

Several months ago, an Asian Journal correspondent, Joseph Pimentel asked her:  “how did you go from a farm girl to where you are now?”

She replied: “Yup, I grew up in a small farm. My parents are farmers. I walked along the rice paddy just to go to school or somewhere else. I did that for 21-22 years. It was a very simple life, not very extravagant. As long as I had my education and a job, life is okay but since winning Miss Philippines and representing the Philippines in the Miss Universe pageant, it’s like an entire different world. I have to be true to myself and try to fit in.”

She did not answer the question.  (It irritates me when people answer questions like the ever evading politicians.)

I think the answer would have been for her to list the specific steps, works, and sacrifices, both she and her family had to do in order for her to achieve her dreams: college education from a prestigious university and international beauty queen title.

How do you go from a poor farm girl to being friends, and connected with wealthy and powerful people, including politicians to rally behind you?

What about her formative years?  How was she raised?  Where there specific things her mother did for her or taught her which helped her become the woman that she is today?

Was she given special privileges because of her beauty?

If her story is true, then there are plenty of poor little girls out there who would want to know the answers to these questions.  Who would be inspired by her accomplishments so that they too can dream big!

But of course, they must meet the pre-requisite.  If they are dreaming of becoming Ms. Philippines, they better be mestizas.  And have the intelligence to back it up.

As for Maria Venus Raj.  I admired her display of confidence and courage.  I admire her audacity to transform herself from a mere farm girl who lived in Nipa Hut, to now an international beauty queen.

With her beauty, anything is possible.

I wouldn’t be surprise if she is pursued by international modeling agencies.

One thing is for sure.  She will have, if not already, an array of very wealthy suitors.  That’s expected of beautiful women.  Her only problem would be is choosing the best one.

~~~

Cook rice as you normally would, using a heavy bottomed pot or rice cooker.  If this is your first time cooking rice using over the stove top.  Follow the instruction below.

Rice that is cooked for the purpose of making fried rice is best cooked the night before.  Chilled in the refrigerator.  This is the key to a perfect fried rice.

If using a rice cooker, the rule of thumb, in my experience, is that the water is always half a cup more than the amount of rice being cooked.  For example, if I’m cooking 2 cups of rice, the water is going to be 2½ cups.  Now, the rice I’m referring here are long grains (Jasmine or Basmati) and short grains (Calrose, Nishiki and other Japanese rice.) This does not include sweet or glutinous rice which is never used for fried rice anyway.

For fried rice, long grains are best.  I prefer Jasmine or Milagrosa rice.  Long grains are less starchy and drier, while short grains tends to have more starch and wetter when cooked.

As for the meat, I have also used salted pork, which is most commonly available here in the South.  I’ve also used ham, Canadian bacon, other type of meat that can be cooked very rapidly, even shrimp.

Here is one of the many different ways to cook fried rice.

Easy Bacon Fried Rice

Ingredients:

8 cups cooked rice (preferably cooled overnight)

5 thick slices bacon – chopped into one inch square.

4 – 5 garlic cloves – peeled and minced

1 medium onion – chopped

2 large eggs – lightly scrambled, and season with a pinch of salt and black pepper

½ tsp. coarse sea salt or kosher salt (less if using regular salt)

¼ – ½ tsp. ground black pepper

3 TBSPs. soy sauce

4 stalks green onions – chopped – white part and green part separated.

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium heat, and add the chopped bacon.  Stir constantly until slightly crispy and grease or fat has been rendered from the bacon.  Remove the bacon to a plate and pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the bacon grease into a glass cup.  Set aside.

Pour the scrambled eggs into the hot skillet with bacon grease.  Let one side cook for two or three minutes.  Flip to the other side and cook for additional minute.  (It’s like cooking a crepe or a pancake.)  Remove eggs onto the same plate of bacon.

Pour about 3 tablespoons of the bacon grease back into the Hot skillet.

Stir in garlic and sauté for 1 minute.  Push to the side.

Stir in chopped onion and the while part of the green onions.  Stir fry for 2 minutes or until onions are translucent.  Push to the side.

Loosen the rice with spatula and add it into skillet.  Stir to combine all the ingredients.  (The best way to do this is to use 2 wooden spoons/spatulas, using both hands.)

Keep stirring until the rice is fully heated through, about 10 minutes.  Add the bacon and eggs, breaking eggs into small pieces.  Stir until combined.

Sprinkle salt and ground black pepper over the rice.  Stir to combine.

Drizzle the soy sauce over the rice, one tablespoon at a time. Stir so that the soy sauce is well distributed.

Taste to see if additional soy sauce and black pepper is needed.

Stir in the remaining chopped green onions.  Stir for a minute or two.  Serve warm.

Serve by itself as breakfast, a light snack or a side dish.

Fried Rice with bacon

Fried Rice with Salt Pork

Shrimp Fried Rice.  Here, i broke the rule of using only chilled cooked rice.  That is why the fried rice looks a bit sticky.  The fried rice still taste good, just not a perfect texture like it should be.

How to Cooking Rice over the Stove Top?

Measure 3 cups of long grain rice.  Preferably Jasmine or Basmati into a 4 quart heavy bottomed pot with a top or cover.

Wash rice and drain. Do this about three or four times, or until the water is fairly clear.  Pour the rice into a strainer. Pour washed rice back into the pot.

Add 4½ cups filtered water to the rice.  (The rule of thumb is 1½ cup of water per cup of rice for a drier cooked rice.)

Cover the pot and bring rice to a boil over medium heat.  Once boiling, reduce heat to low and keep boiling for about 15 – 20 minutes or until all rice is absorbed.  Turn off heat but keep the pot tightly covered for another 10 minutes.  The rice should be cooked by now.  If so, loosen the rice with a spatula – a wooden spatula is best so that the grain kept intact.  Transfer cooked rice into a plastic container or you can leave it in the pot and store in the refrigerator overnight.

Of course, if you plan to use the cooked rice as a side dish for another meal, instead of using it for fried rice.  Serve it immediately while hot.

Tess’ Kitchen Secrets:

#1 – To attain the perfect fried rice, even better than most Chinese restaurants, chill the cooked rice in the refrigerator overnight.

#2 – You can add finely chopped carrots or green peas to the fried rice for color.  Simply saute the carrots and green peas with the onions, before adding the cooled rice.

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess Harris

In The City

Somewhere out there on that horizon.

Out beyond the neon lights
I know there must be somethin’ better

But there’s nowhere else in sight
It’s survival in the city

When you live from day to day
City streets don’t have much pity

When you’re down, that’s where you’ll stay
In the city, oh, oh. In the city

~ The Eagles ~

 

Tok – Tok – Tok. Tok – Tok – Tok

“Hi… Is Elvie in?”  I opened the door to see who’s outside.

“Who you looking for…?”

“Elvie.  Is she in?”

“No.  She is not.  I think she was “bar fined” last night.”

The lady paused for a moment… a confused expression painted her face.  Then the lady said…

“Aww… OK.  I come back later.”

“Who was that?” My half-sister asked, with a towel wrapped around her head, and another towel wrapped around her body.  She just came out of the shower.

“I don’t know.  It was a lady.  She asked where Ate Elvie is.”

“What did you tell her?!”

“I told her – Ate Elvie was “bar fined” last night.  That’s why she’s not here!”

“Aahhh shit! Why did you tell her  that?”

“Because that’s where Ate Elvie is… right? I heard you talked to Ate Mary, you said ‘she was bar fined’ last night…”

“Jesus! You’re not supposed to tell people that!  Her family doesn’t know that she works in a bar.  They think she works as a teacher!”

“Oww. I hope she doesn’t get in trouble.  But I didn’t know.  I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about it…”

“I didn’t know it was a secret.  You didn’t tell me it is supposed to be a secret.”

What’s bad about working in a bar? I wondered… What is a bar? My sister and her friends always talked about bars.  They met guys at the bars, and then they go bar hopping.  Or they go eat at restaurants.  Women find boyfriends there.  And then they get married and go to America or Australia.  But some women are too picky, so they get old and never marry.  And many bear  illegitimate children whose fathers they’ll never know.  Others get left behind by their boyfriends, who after three or four years of living together, the American boyfriend decide to not marry and off they go.  Nine out of ten, the girlfriend goes back to the bar, hoping she’s not too old to find another boyfriend. And the quest begins all over again.

Angeles City is one of the two sin cities in the Philippines, where Clark Air Force Base was located.  The largest American Air Force Base in the Pacific at that time.  The other is Olongapo City.  With Subic Bay, home to the U.S. Naval Base.  Both cities’ economies were dependent on the bases.  But when the U.S. Air Force and U.S. Naval Bases pulled out in 1991 after the eruption of Mount Pinatubo, both cities suffered tremendously, displacing hundreds and thousands of Filipino workers, both on and off the bases.

Both Angeles City and Olongapo City had a thriving night life.  They owe it to the U.S. Servicemen who were stationed there.  And the tourists from Australia and Europe.  It took at least five years before these cities start to recover.  But even if it recovers.  It will never be the same.  Like how it was when the U.S. Forces were there.

In a way… Angeles City is like Las Vegas.  Both are considered sin cities, full of promises for those who wish to improve their fortune and or gamble their lives.  While Las Vegas is famous for its gambling, entertainment, and its luxurious hotels which could make anyone dizzy and disoriented when they first step out of McCarran Airport, Angeles City is famous for its night life.  The bars and the girls.  This city is a haven for foreigners looking for a good time, and maybe lifetime companions.

Ate Elvie is Ilocana.  She came from Ilocos – the southern part of Luzon.  She has a degree in Elementary education.  She has smooth light skin, round face, and short wavy hair.  I liked Ate Elvie, especially her rugged and non-pretentious personality.   I never find out if she got in trouble with her family about the “bar fined” issue.  All I know is, since that morning when that lady was asking about her, they stopped talking around me about anything, especially about the bars and they guys they met over there.  And then we moved to another apartment a month later.  So I’ve never seen or heard of Ate Elvie again.  Years later, my sister told me that she’s in America, married to an American.

At 13, I wish they could take me to the bar.  The more they did not want to   talk to me about it, the more I wanted to know.  I wanted to see what all the excitements were all about.  I wanted to see what’s in the bar?  Why do they seemed animated and exited every time they talk about it?  It sounded like a fun place to be.  And then I always hear them giggling about the men they met.  But I remember Ate Elvie saying… “No – no – no.  You’re too young.  They don’t let young girls in the bar.”  I wish I was grown up like them so they could take me.  They seemed to be having so much fun.  I want to have fun too. What a silly girl I was.

Two weeks before the school was to begin.  Ate Elvie accompanied me and my sister to Angeles University Foundation to help me enroll in first year high school.  She said she knew somebody there, which will make my enrollment a lot easier.  So we went.  I remember getting into a long line, and waited for almost one hour.  Ate Elvie spoke to the girl she knew.  My sister paid and I was set to go to school in two weeks.  Except for the uniforms.  I  had to order my uniforms – a green and white checkered skirt, and a solid white jacket style top.

I was excited and terrified at the same time.  My new school is so big, with too many students.  Only in the Philippines where they can get away with it.  In the same school and inside the same campus, the building to the north was the elementary school.  The high school building was on the east side and five stories high and on the other side, in the west side was the building for college students.  Several guards are stationed at the gate to check for school IDs.  No IDs no entry.

I memorized my jeep route so I don’t get lost.  I had to take two different jeepneys to get to school.

This whole thing – being new in a big city, going to a big school, seeing people other than Filipinos, these were all dizzying to me; exciting and scary and the same time.  But this was my dream.  I wanted to live here.  No more planting rice in the mud; no more going to the farm to dig up sweet potatoes and cassavas.  No more carrying fire-woods on my head; no more basket full of foodstuff on my back while walking in the rain and muddy foot paths.  No more!  I got away!  Yaaayyy!

My first day of school came.  I sat on the front row, close to the window.  Our classroom was on the third floor.  There were about 30 students in my class.  And I was surprise to see that one third of the class were grown women – married and have children.  What are they doing here?  When I was in fourth grade, the oldest girl in my class was 19 years old.  She decided, after having gone to Manila to work as a house-girl, to go back home and finish her elementary education.

Now in my high school class… I found out that the older women in my class, most of them are married to Americans.  Amercano as we call them.

Gloria is 37 years old who’s married to a Master Sergeant.  She has three children.  Her oldest child – a daughter is 13, and going to middle school.  I didn’t know what middle school was back then.  Because in the Philippines, we don’t have middle school.  We have elementary school and high school.  No middle school.  So while her kids go to DOD (Department of Defense) school at Clark Air Force Base, she was going to first year high school at AUF.  And there was Maggie.  She was tall.  She was from Cebu she said.  She looked like she is mestiza – Filipino mixed with Spanish blood.  Her features proved it.  White skin, pointed nose, large round eyes with brown lashes, brown-reddish, wavy hair.  She has two children.  Both in elementary school.

And then there was Ate Nelly.  She wasn’t married but she was living with a steady boyfriend.  She told me she’s 27 years old.  She’s about 5 foot 7 inches tall.  Skinny with long black hair, down to her butt.  And then there was Grace.  She’s only 16.  She’s probably about 5 foot 2 with a gap on her upper teeth.  One day in class, she whispered to me… “I have a boyfriend.  American boyfriend.”  I know what that means.  I don’t know how I know.  But from then on, when a girl tells me they have an American boyfriend… that means, they are no longer virgins.  They are having sex with their American boyfriend.  I was only 13 so I never had a boyfriend. And Mirasol.  Very pretty girl.  She has flawless, white Asian skin, thick long, wavy hair down to her waistline.  She seemed always tired and sleepy when she came to school.  I found out that she worked as a dancer in one of the bars… Of course she didn’t announce it to the class.  Grace is friends with her and that’s how I found out…

I was keeping tab as to who is who and who is doing what.  I have always been a curious little girl.  I listen with full intent about people and their lives… I think it’s very interesting.  So different from mine.  That’s probably why I like to read biographies and memoirs of people.  Interesting famous people and sometimes bad people too.

My stay in Angeles City was short lived.  My sister or half sister.  I prefer to call her my sister instead of half-sister.  To me she’s my sister.  Though when I call her half-sister that is my urged to get even with her back when I was 13 and living with her.  She’d introduced me to her friends as her half – sister.  It’s true.  She’s my half – sister.  But it bothered me.  It hurt me.  Why couldn’t she just introduce me as her sister?  What’s the difference?  I looked up to her and loved her like she’s my full sister.  But that was then.  This is now.  Now in her early fifties, now I am her sister.  Yeah. Ah huh. It makes me wonder…

Like I said, my stay in Angeles City was short lived.  After two years, I was sent back home, to the province.  My sister married an Air Force guy who was stationed in Korea so she had to go with him.  I finished high school in the province.  And two years later, I was back in the city, Angeles City.

~~~

It was in Angeles City that i first tasted pizza.  It  was a small place off Fields Avenue.  That place was always crowded. Everyday.  Their pizzas or at least the ones I tasted were cut in squares.  I don’t even remember what kind of pizza that was.  All I remember is – it was good.

This pizza – if you can call it pizza.  But i will call it pizza… is quick to make.  I made this yesterday for my husband to eat at work.  I always try to think of a more convenient way for him to eat out there – when he’s working.  Something good and less messy.  So when i was at the grocery store the other day, i picked up a package of Pita Bread.  I didn’t know exactly what i was going to do with it, but told myself – “I’ll think of something.  And the result was amazing.

Pita Pizza Squares

(Serves 2 – 4)

4 Pita Bread – squares

1 TBSP. olive oil for brushing

2 Fresh Italian Sausage (I used Hot)

2 large cloves garlic – peeled and minced

1/2 tsp. fresh rosemary – chopped

8 slices Pepperoni – 2 slices per pita square

6 slices Provolone Cheese – 1½ slices per pita square

¼ medium onion – sliced

12 medium sizes Mezzetta Hot Chili Peppers – sliced (3 peppers for each pita square) – you can use olives if you want

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Heat a small skillet over medium heat.  Remove the casing from the Italian sausage.  Add the sausage into the heated skillet.  Crumble the sausage into bite size pieces.  Stirring until cook, about 6 minutes.  Add minced garlic and chopped rosemary.  Stir another minute.  Add the onion slices.  Stir and remove the pan from the heat.  Divide the sausage mixture into four portions.

Line a Baking sheet with aluminum.  Lightly brush with olive oil.

Place 4 pita bread squares in the pan.  Lightly brush each bread with olive oil.

Top each pita square with the sausage. One portion for each.

Add slices of hot chili peppers to the sausage toppings.

Tear each pepperoni slices into four pieces and also add to the sausage toppings.

Tear the provolone cheese and add to the toppings.

Bake Pita Pizza Squares in the preheated oven at 375°F for 10 minutes.  Remove pizza from the oven.

NOTE:  For crunchy pita squares, after 10 minutes in the oven, remove pizza from the baking sheet and slide each Pita Pizza Square on top of the oven rack and bake for another 4 – 5 minutes.  Be careful not to burn the cheese.

Tess’ Kitchen Secrets:

#1 – Placing the Pita Pizza Squares directly on the oven rack, makes the bottom crust crispy.  Which makes it easier to handle.  Of course you can serve it unsliced.

#2 – You can use different toppings if you like such as olives, Canadian bacon, Anchovies, etc.  Just try not to put too much toppings so you don’t weigh down the bread.

#3 – You can serve this as an appetizer or party food. Just slice each square into four little squares.

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess Harris

AVOID Pain and Frustrations and SAVE $$$ Next Time You Move

I can’t live in one place for too long. My limit is six years living in the same place. After that, I get bored. I yearn for change. The nomad in me wants to move, she gets restless; she wants to be on the road, to another city, another state, another place…

Moving is in my blood. I was born a nomad, always moving, from one unfinished nipa hut to the next; from one barrio to another; from one island to another. By the time I was six, we have moved more than 6 times.

The fifth house we lived in was by the seashore. A house my dad built but never finished as he has repeatedly done all his life. But this house was different. It was bigger and better than any other house we’ve had before. It had wooden floor instead of bamboo like we’ve always had. I was very young then, not even in school yet. I remember waking up in the morning and running on the white sandy shore, blanketed with fire red crabs. I would run after them, but the crabs were a little too fast for my little feet. Just when I was closing in on them, they would run back to their little dug holes and hide.

And then one afternoon, in this same house, I woke up from my nap, my clothes soaking wet, like I had just bathed in the sea. I bolted onto my feet screaming, calling my mom: “Nay… Nay… Nay! (mom), waah-whooaah…waahh… Naaaahnaaay!” I stopped crying, and slowly opened my tear filled, swollen eyes. I looked around but no one answered. The floor was covered with water five inches deep. Everything in the house was floating: clothes, pillows, plates, pots and pans. I ran and looked out the window; our chickens were quacking while floating on the water. The pigs were floating too! The dog was standing on top of a wooden plank, quietly observing the commotion between the chickens and the pigs. The tide was high that day and our house wasn’t built high enough above the ground to sustain the high tide. While I was asleep, my mom thought it was a perfect time for her to run up the hill to collect some sweet potatoes we were having for dinner that night. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I stood by the window frozen, and motionless… wondering where everyone had gone…

After this incident, we moved again.

We moved inland into another nipa hut, only a stone throw away from my maternal aunt and grandparents’ huts. We did not live here long. We had to move again. And here’s why:

One day my dad came home, from a plowing job where he was offered coconut wine (tuba), which he happily accepted and drank. And when he’s drank, bad things happened. He was half a mile away from our nipa hut, already we could hear him belching out screams, the same loud, animalistic scream that he does when he is pissed off. He has had enough of my grampa and gramma’s insult, and this day seems to be the perfect day to let them know his feelings. As he was closing into my grandparents’ house, he pulled out his long knife and started striking, cutting and slicing everything on his path. He was only 10 feet from my grandparents’ porch, after he had cut all the banana trees in the front yard, when grampa and gramma jumped out the window, rolled down the green grassy hill to escape my dad and ran to the Barangay Captain 5 miles away.

Few days later, he was tipped off by a friend that several police men are on their way to arrest him. So he hid in the cave all day, and that night he boarded a small motor boat and escaped to Leyte. Few years later, my grandparents dropped the charges against him and they moved to Mindanao.

It would be three months before we join him. During this time, he’s been living with his relatives, moving from one relative to the next. When we came, my dad wasn’t ready for us. His uncle gave him permission to cultivate and live in his land up in the mountains, very far away from the barrio. It would take us from sunrise ’til sundown, by foot, to get there. We lived here a few years before my dad decided that we need to live closer to the barrio so my brother and I could go to school. And so we moved again, and again, and again. From when I attended first grade up until I graduated sixth grade, we have moved five more times.

For most people, moving is a dreadful thing to do. And YES, there are things involve in moving that is not fun – like packing all your household goods and belongings, and then unpacking when you get to your new place. And between all the packing, shipping, and unpacking, your things will get broken. Of course when I was a little girl, we didn’t own much of anything other than a few old clothes which we rolled and tuck into the rice sack and off we went. So moving was effortless. But when I met my husband, an American, he had already accumulated things, and accumulated more things once we were married. By then, moving then became a bit of a task. The furniture we had custom made lasted 17 years, some didn’t even last that long. We learned not to become emotionally attached to our possessions. Because these things come and go.

Each time we moved, we filled a Goodwill truck with books, furniture, clothes, and everything else that seem too bulky to take with us. (My husband is a firm believer of donating to Goodwill or Salvation Army. He believes that the universe will bless him many times over more than what he gives.) When we decided to leave Las Vegas, we had a beautiful, black old Mercedes Benz we gave away to a guy who worked as a mechanic at car shop. His family could use an extra car, and it was far too expensive for us to ship it, and even more expensive to maintain it.

YES, moving is a BIG decision and not an easy thing to do for most people. It’s even more daunting if you have to pay for the move because it is expensive and you are more likely to get ripped off. Like what happened to us when we moved from Las Vegas to South Carolina six years ago.

This was our first move on our own, without the military; therefore, we had to pay. So I shopped around for a moving company we can afford. I found one called Nationwide Moving Company. Their price was several hundred dollars less than the other, more nationally known company, so we decided to hire them. BIG MISTAKE! Lesson #1: Trying to save a buck could cost a lot more money in the long run and a lot more headaches than necessary. It’s better to pay extra if it meant dealing with a more recognized, and more reliable moving company. The key is to ask for references – people who have used them before and find out what they have to say. Another thing to do is research the internet for customer reviews. Back then, internet reviews weren’t as readily available as they are today. You have to invest a lot of time in research.

I sometimes wonder… that maybe it was just because our move got complicated. Our household goods were scheduled to be shipped and delivered to South Carolina, but things did not work out for us in there. In a short turn around, we had to move to Texas. So we had our household goods diverted – shipped and delivered to Texas. This is where the problem came in. Lesson #2: Do not rush into shipping your household goods to your destination. Instead, rent a storage space to store them. You can always get them later once you are stable and firmly rooted in your new location. Nationwide, the moving company, charged us few thousand dollars more to have our stuff delivered to Texas. I was confused and puzzled by this. Commonsense tells me, our household goods were still in Las Vegas, and Texas is several hundred miles closer to Las Vegas than to South Carolina. But Nationwide had the upper hand in this situation. If we weren’t willing to pay the additional money they demanded, they weren’t going to deliver our household goods. They had us by the neck; our stuff held hostage. We if we had to do the whole thing over, we would have just let them keep our stuff and started over. But there were a lot of things that were very sentimental to us. So we coughed up the money and paid. Lesson #3: Don’t let your emotions get in the way because it is going to cost you. Be ready to say: Fuck it and cut your losses while you’re ahead.

When my husband was in the military, the military paid for all the moving expenses, including our travel and temporary lodging. We didn’t have to worry about choosing a mover; the military took care of that. And then when he retired, we could choose a place – another city, or another state where we want to move and retire and the military would move us one last time… But life outside the military is different. Very different.

Years ago, I used to wonder why a lot of people move themselves. This was back when the military paid for our move. We’ll be on the road driving to another state, our new military base, and we’d see people driving huge U-Haul or Penske trucks, sometimes, towing a car in the back. Or the wife drives the family car and follows the husband. We’d say to ourselves: Why can’t this people just hire a mover and ship their household goods? It’s certainly much easier to just drive to your destination, in your car. And when you reached your destination, your new home, your stuff would be there waiting for you, instead of going through all this trouble driving a big U-Haul or Penske truck. Well… now we certainly know why. At minimum, it is $3,000 – $5,000 difference on your pocket, maybe more. And if you move yourself, at least you are guaranteed to have your household goods, in fair shape, when you get to your destination. So moving in a U-Haul or Penske truck with our household goods is now our preferred method. And this is even more so if you have a limited moving expense budget, and cannot afford to ‘pay an arm and a leg’ to the unscrupulous, shadowy moving companies. It’s cheaper and fewer headaches.

Despite of all these factors… moving can be a life changing event. It takes you out of your rut and of stagnation.

~~~

From all the moving we’ve done throughout the years, we learned plenty of valuable lessons that could save you money, headaches and pain. Learn from our mistakes.  Consider these things before you move:

• Research a place, a city, or a state where you are more likely to find a job. The bigger the city the better.

When we were in Las Vegas, a city with over 1.8 million populations, we had a dream of living in a small town. Thinking that living in small town would be so much cheaper and better. WRONG!
We discovered this by living in Abilene, Texas, a city with population just a little over 120,000. The housing – single family homes and apartments are expensive, and not much to choose from. Restaurant prices are no cheaper if not more expensive than the ones located in major cities. Though we found that one of the reasons why small town like this is expensive is because of the military base present here. The businesses – real estate developers and apartment owners knows that the military personnel receive a monthly housing allowance of between $771 – $1,134 depending on rank, for enlisted without dependents (no wife and children), and significantly more – $1,005 – $1,485 if you are married with with children; even more – $946 – $1,824 per month if you are a commissioned officer. So the housing and apartment rental rates in this town are based on these allowances. If you are not in the military and are living in a small town like Abilene, you are pretty much resigned to living in poor areas with the only housing you can afford. My advice? Do not live in a small town with military base. You are better off living in a big city with more job opportunities. Don’t feel like you are stuck. MOVE!

• If possible, it would be very beneficial to visit and survey the city a few months ahead before your pending move. This is called “reconnaissance mission” in the military. While there, make note of important information i.e., nice and safe temporary housing or extended stay hotels and suites, proximity to major interstate highways, parks, shopping center, etc. Anything that will make yours and your family’s life a little easier and convenient in a new city. If you don’t have the time and money to visit the place in advance, it’s OK. Just make sure you do as much research about the place before you move. You can do the rest once you get there.

• Assess your resources. How much money – cash in hand or in the bank do you currently have? What’s your available credit limit? With the money you currently have, how long can you survive with that money before you need to have money to start coming in? Meaning. how long can you afford to not have a job?  With the advent of online banking, where you can access your money virtually anywhere, anyplace and anytime, people can now live anywhere in the United States or any country in the world for that matter.

• How are you going to move? If you’ve sold most of your belongings i.e., extra car, furniture, and other household items, then there’s not that much to take with you. You could just rent a U-Haul and fill it with what you’ve decided keep and your most valuable possessions. Tow your car in the back if you have to. If you are married and have kids, and you own two vehicles, you’re wife can drive the other car with your children aboard. If you are single and moving alone then you have less to worry about.

• Decide where you are going to stay. If you are new to a city, your best bet would be to find an extended stay hotel with full kitchen. There are plenty out there to choose from: Homewood Suites, Candlewood Suites, Residence Inn by Marriott, Budget Suites of America, Homestead Suites, Extended Stay Hotels and Suites, and etc. The whole point of this is to find a place where you can settle temporarily, while you are looking for a job and getting to know the city. So that when you do find a job, you can then find an ideal place for you and your family. I would not buy a house right away. Staying in an apartment with a 3 – 6 six month lease keeps you mobile in case your new job doesn’t work out and you have to move someplace else.

Depending on what city you are moving into, most extended stay hotels will allow you to pay affront, for the whole month, to avoid paying taxes which can range between 12 – 16% or more. But I would suggest paying weekly during the first week or two so you can move to another hotel if you are not happy. And if you are happy with the hotel, you can always ask for their monthly rate. Though keep in mind that once you pay upfront, most extended stay hotels may not be willing to refund your money if you decide to check out sooner.

With extended stay hotels and suites, all utilities are covered. They may charge a small one-time fee to use the internet. Housekeeping may or may not be included; in some cases the hotel will charge you a small amount for a full housekeeping service once a week. Most extended stay hotels and suites have full kitchen with full refrigerator, stove with four burners and ovens (in some places), microwave ovens, kitchen utensils such as pots and pans, plates, forks and spoons, etc. They also have on-site coin laundry. I don’t like to their towels. So I bring my own. NOTE: Be sure to ask if you could see the room before you pay. And check for the items listed above. You do not want to get stuck in a place you don’t like for a whole month.

Before you start searching for an apartment, make a checklist of what’s important to you and your family. For me my checklist usually looks like this:

Kitchen:
• 2 large, deep sinks
• Plenty of cabinet space
• Plenty of counter space
• Good ventilation
• Good oven and stove – not old and rusty
• Good dishwasher

Bathroom:
• Large tub OR strong, good flowing shower
• Large counter space
• Good amount of drawers and cabinets
• Full size toilet – enough room around it
• Good sink and faucet

Laundry:
• Full size washer and dryer connection
• Linen/towel closet

Apartment MUST have good reviews:
1. Good, responsive maintenance
2. Friendly staff
3. Safe environment – Low crime area – In addition to seeing the apartment complex during the day, it is also best to drive by at night to see what type activities going on in the area.
Covered parking and plenty of parking space
4. The newer the apartment, the better.  Apartments must not be older than 15 years! Old apartments mean somethings are going to break more often than not. And unless the apartment leasing employ a responsive efficient staff, it might be too much headache and frustration living here.  Also, old apartments are not energy efficient.  Which means your electric bill is going to be very expensive.

• While you are on temporary housing or living in an extended stay hotel, you could rent a storage space to store your belongings so you can return the U-Haul truck. Unless you’ve left them in storage back at your old hometown and would retrieve them later once you are settled.

• Make sure your computer and printer are easily accessible. You are going to need these equipments while you are staying in an extended stay hotel. In addition to updating your resume, writing thank you and follow up letters, it is much easier to get around if you have a printed map of the local places you need to go such as banks, grocery stores, public parks and recreation areas , etc. Getting maps and detailed directions to local places are readily available from Google Maps.

• Have computer games or PlayStation game console and games, and extra monitor available for your kids to play with. This should keep them entertained and busy so they won’t be bored out of their minds.

• Bring several interesting books for you, your spouse and your children to read.

• Bring plenty of bath and kitchen towels. I do not like the towels in some of these hotels so I bring enough for the whole family.

• Two weeks before you move, fill out a change of address form at the U.S. Post Office. And then rent a mailbox at Mail Boxes Etc. or UPS Stores and have your mail sent here. For additional fees, Mail Box Etc. (MBE) can hold and forward your mail and packages wherever you are. So this way you don’t ever have to ask favors from your relatives and friends, and you’ll get your mail.

Below is a list of food items to buy and cook when you are on a budget:

• rice – white or brown rice. I like to cook my rice the old fashioned way, and I prefer Jasmine rice.
• sardines
• ramen noodles (known to be staples for young adults who don’t have much money and who don’t know how to cook
• baked beans
• Campbell Chunky Stew and Soups
• canned chili
• canned fruit
• microwavable vegetables (Birdseye Steamfresh is good and in expensive
• frozen and microwavable beef and bean burritos
• bottled water (it’s cheaper to buy them by the case at Sam’s Club)
• Panda Express Chinese food – If I’m going to eat fast food, I would rather eat Panda Express. They are available in most big cities. You can have a good satisfying meal, with 2 entrees plus chowmein, fried rice or noodles for only $6.48

This is just a  list to get you going. You could add your favorite foods on this list.

~~~

I usually make this chili with my own blend of spices and seasoning. But when I’m with Ramon, I don’t have access to my varied spices that I have at home. So… I use the good ole McCormick chili seasoning mix. And then very recently, I have been serving my chili with Indian bread called Naan. A bread made from tandoori oven. It taste slightly sweet and chewy. I now prefer to eat my chili like this instead of eating it with corn tortilla chips. Again, I always cook a lot. So this recipe serves six people or more.

Hot Kickin’ Chili Too!

2 pounds ground beef – 96% lean
6 TBSPs. Olive oil – divided
5 garlic cloves – minced
1 large red or yellow onion – diced
3 large jalapeno peppers – seeded and chopped
2 packets McCormick Chili Seasoning Mix (I like the HOT one.)
2 tsps. dried oregano
½ tsp. ground black pepper
2 dried bay leaves
1/2 TBSP. coarse sea salt (adjust according to taste)
1 – 28 ounces can crushed tomatoes
2 – 15 ounces can dark red kidney beans – undrained
Juice of 1 large lime
½ cup firmly packed chopped cilantro
4 stalks green onions
Garnish: grated cheddar cheese and sour cream

Brown ground beef in 3 tablespoons olive in an 8 quart pot. Drain meat and set aside.

Using the same pot, heat the remaining 3 tablespoons olive oil and sauté onions until translucent. Stir the garlic and jalapeno peppers and sauté a few minutes.

Add ground beef into the sautéed onions, garlic and jalapeno mixture. Stir to blend. Add the two packets of chili seasoning mix, dried oregano, ground black pepper, and dried bay leaves. Stir to combine.

Add the crushed tomatoes, undrained kidney beans,and sea salt.

Stir and bring mixture to a boil over medium heat, while stirring occasionally to avoid scorching the bottom. Lower the heat and simmer chili for about 30 minutes, while stirring occasionally.

Taste for additional salt and black pepper.

Add chopped cilantro and chopped green onions a few minutes before serving.

Top each serving with grated cheddar cheese and sour cream if you like.

Serve chili with warm Naan bread or tortilla corn chips and Fritos corn scoops or chips on the side.

NOTE: Follow the heating instruction on the package for Naan bread. Naan bread is available at Wal-Mart in their bakery section, and in other supermarkets.  It cost $2.50 per pack at Wal-Mart and slightly more at other supermarkets.

There are 2 pieces of Naan bread in each pack.  Allow 1 – 2 breads per person.

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess

Eat Your Rum and Drink Your Pork

“Dad… wake up!” the little girl shaking his father on the left shoulder.

“Huhh…?  ssshhhhhh… ssshhhh…” the father snored while leaning his head on a big rock.

“Dad… c’mon, let’s go!  Let’s go home…!”

“It’s getting dark and I’m scared…” the little girl is now on the verge of crying.

This man is my dad.  He is drunk.  He is too drunk too keep walking and so he laid down right in the middle of the dirt path beside a big rock.  We are about 3 miles from our nipa hut, five miles away from the town.

As a little girl, I always wanted to go with my dad wherever he  went.  And this day was just one of the days I went with him.  He couldn’t refuse his friend and  drank too many shots of Tanduay Rum while we were in town.  He managed to head home with me… but midway to our nipa hut, he couldn’t keep his eyes open and slump right in the middle of the dirt road… This is not the first time he’s done this – got drunk and slept in the dirt path halfway home.  My mother was hoping that because I am with him, he wouldn’t get too drunk.  But she’s wrong.  I am just a little girl, no match to his friend who was offering him free drinks…

At least this time he is sleeping, instead of going to one of his violent and crazy rage…

Five years back… when I was even younger, probably four years old… I remember running with my little brother, while my mom holding my other youngest brother and youngest sister, yelling:

“Let’s go, Eday (baby)! Let’s go… let’s go.  Hurry!”

I was confused… I was dazed…. I didn’t understand why we were running.  And where we running to…? What’s happening…?

Finally… we arrived at the Barrio Captain’s house, all wet  and covered in mud…

I was sitting on the floor, in the corner, still holding my little brother’s hand, shaking… trembling from fear and exhaustion.  We ran through the rice fields,  and across the muddy and wooded marsh before we reach the small town…

“Mrs… what happened? How can I help you?” asked the Barrio Captain.

“My husband… Please hide us.” said Mrs… in tears and shaking.

“Why? What did he do? Why are you so afraid?” The Barrio Captain with a worried look on his face, wanted to know.

“My husband… He is very angry.  He pulled out his long knife and was going to kill us – me… and my children.  Please hide us? Please!” said Mrs, signaling for me and my little brother to come to her.

She pulled me and my little brother closer to her… She, looking at the Barrio Captain, pleading… look at me and my children… I don’t want to die… I don’t want them to die…please help me…

I don’t exactly remember why my dad was angry that night.  Something must have set him off, but I didn’t know what.  Could it have been my mother? What did she said?  I sensed that he came home drunk again and the slightest thing made him angry…

My father did not drink every day. Not even every week.  He got drunk intermittently.  But when he did, he became aggressive… mean… and very intimidating.  He looked for fights and we hoped that no one would engage him.  We hid when he’s drunk because we were scared he is going to physically hurt us.

My mother… she drank occasionally, at party celebrations.  When she did, her face turned bright red and she’d start crying.  She became depressed.  She strummed her guitar and cried uncontrollably.

~~~

I was 16 when I had my first drink.  It was white, clear, liquid.  Very strong, intense and fiery on the tongue.  I was with my cousin who was 18 and my step sister, who was 19.  We were on our way to the big city… to school.  That night, before we boarded a small boat, our friends – much older than us, persuaded us to have a drink…

“Here, drink some!” Said Renato, pushing the small glass towards me.

“What is that?” turning the glass with my finger.

“How does it taste?” I asked curiously.

“Well, try some and you’ll see.” Renato assured.

I picked up the glass and drank the content.  It burned my throat as the clear liquid went down my esophagus.  I felt my stomach burst into fire.  My head felt funny…  my eyes were seeing double… and the wall was spinning.

I don’t like the taste of straight alcohol and my body has low tolerance for it.  I very,  rarely drink, and won’t drink any alcohol unless it is camouflaged with sweet juices or sweet syrup. And even this, I can’t drink that much.

But… I like how some alcohol make certain dishes taste.  So I often use medium dry sherry or white wine in my sauces and marinades.  I use white wine with chicken and pork, and red for beef dishes.

Here in this dish, I used Myer’s 100% Jamaican Rum.  Dark rums are ideal for cooking.  It makes food and sauces very flavorful.

Pork Steaks with Rum Barbecue Sauce

Serves 3

3 large pork blade steaks – about 3 pounds

Sweet RUM Barbecue Sauce:

¼ cup firmly packed brown sugar

½ cup ketchup

¼ cup soy sauce

¼ cup hoisen sauce

2 TBSPs. dark rum

1 TBSP. genuine wasabi or 2 TBSPs. deli style mustard with horseradish

1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

4 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled

Combine sauce ingredients in a medium size glass bowl.  Stir until well blended and smooth.  Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400°F.

Line a heavy duty cookie sheet with heavy strength foil.

Wash pork steaks and pat dry with paper towels and place them on foiled lined baking sheet.  Using a pastry brush, liberally brush pork steaks, on one side with the barbecue sauce.

Roast pork steaks in a preheated oven at 400°F for 30 minutes.

Remove pork steaks from the oven and pour off excess liquid.

(Usually, I  temporarily transfer them into a large plate, while I pour the liquid from the baking sheet.)

Turn the pork steaks on the other side and again, liberrally brush with the barbecue sauce.

Return pork steaks to the oven and bake for another 30 minutes.

Serve with rice or potato salad.

OR

Chop pork steaks into small pieces, discarding the bones, and serve pork steaks as sandwiches…

Sweet RUM BBQ Sauce

Pork steaks freshly brushed with the sauce

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess