AVOID Pain and Frustrations and SAVE $$$ Next Time You Move

I can’t live in one place for too long. My limit is six years living in the same place. After that, I get bored. I yearn for change. The nomad in me wants to move, she gets restless; she wants to be on the road, to another city, another state, another place…

Moving is in my blood. I was born a nomad, always moving, from one unfinished nipa hut to the next; from one barrio to another; from one island to another. By the time I was six, we have moved more than 6 times.

The fifth house we lived in was by the seashore. A house my dad built but never finished as he has repeatedly done all his life. But this house was different. It was bigger and better than any other house we’ve had before. It had wooden floor instead of bamboo like we’ve always had. I was very young then, not even in school yet. I remember waking up in the morning and running on the white sandy shore, blanketed with fire red crabs. I would run after them, but the crabs were a little too fast for my little feet. Just when I was closing in on them, they would run back to their little dug holes and hide.

And then one afternoon, in this same house, I woke up from my nap, my clothes soaking wet, like I had just bathed in the sea. I bolted onto my feet screaming, calling my mom: “Nay… Nay… Nay! (mom), waah-whooaah…waahh… Naaaahnaaay!” I stopped crying, and slowly opened my tear filled, swollen eyes. I looked around but no one answered. The floor was covered with water five inches deep. Everything in the house was floating: clothes, pillows, plates, pots and pans. I ran and looked out the window; our chickens were quacking while floating on the water. The pigs were floating too! The dog was standing on top of a wooden plank, quietly observing the commotion between the chickens and the pigs. The tide was high that day and our house wasn’t built high enough above the ground to sustain the high tide. While I was asleep, my mom thought it was a perfect time for her to run up the hill to collect some sweet potatoes we were having for dinner that night. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I stood by the window frozen, and motionless… wondering where everyone had gone…

After this incident, we moved again.

We moved inland into another nipa hut, only a stone throw away from my maternal aunt and grandparents’ huts. We did not live here long. We had to move again. And here’s why:

One day my dad came home, from a plowing job where he was offered coconut wine (tuba), which he happily accepted and drank. And when he’s drank, bad things happened. He was half a mile away from our nipa hut, already we could hear him belching out screams, the same loud, animalistic scream that he does when he is pissed off. He has had enough of my grampa and gramma’s insult, and this day seems to be the perfect day to let them know his feelings. As he was closing into my grandparents’ house, he pulled out his long knife and started striking, cutting and slicing everything on his path. He was only 10 feet from my grandparents’ porch, after he had cut all the banana trees in the front yard, when grampa and gramma jumped out the window, rolled down the green grassy hill to escape my dad and ran to the Barangay Captain 5 miles away.

Few days later, he was tipped off by a friend that several police men are on their way to arrest him. So he hid in the cave all day, and that night he boarded a small motor boat and escaped to Leyte. Few years later, my grandparents dropped the charges against him and they moved to Mindanao.

It would be three months before we join him. During this time, he’s been living with his relatives, moving from one relative to the next. When we came, my dad wasn’t ready for us. His uncle gave him permission to cultivate and live in his land up in the mountains, very far away from the barrio. It would take us from sunrise ’til sundown, by foot, to get there. We lived here a few years before my dad decided that we need to live closer to the barrio so my brother and I could go to school. And so we moved again, and again, and again. From when I attended first grade up until I graduated sixth grade, we have moved five more times.

For most people, moving is a dreadful thing to do. And YES, there are things involve in moving that is not fun – like packing all your household goods and belongings, and then unpacking when you get to your new place. And between all the packing, shipping, and unpacking, your things will get broken. Of course when I was a little girl, we didn’t own much of anything other than a few old clothes which we rolled and tuck into the rice sack and off we went. So moving was effortless. But when I met my husband, an American, he had already accumulated things, and accumulated more things once we were married. By then, moving then became a bit of a task. The furniture we had custom made lasted 17 years, some didn’t even last that long. We learned not to become emotionally attached to our possessions. Because these things come and go.

Each time we moved, we filled a Goodwill truck with books, furniture, clothes, and everything else that seem too bulky to take with us. (My husband is a firm believer of donating to Goodwill or Salvation Army. He believes that the universe will bless him many times over more than what he gives.) When we decided to leave Las Vegas, we had a beautiful, black old Mercedes Benz we gave away to a guy who worked as a mechanic at car shop. His family could use an extra car, and it was far too expensive for us to ship it, and even more expensive to maintain it.

YES, moving is a BIG decision and not an easy thing to do for most people. It’s even more daunting if you have to pay for the move because it is expensive and you are more likely to get ripped off. Like what happened to us when we moved from Las Vegas to South Carolina six years ago.

This was our first move on our own, without the military; therefore, we had to pay. So I shopped around for a moving company we can afford. I found one called Nationwide Moving Company. Their price was several hundred dollars less than the other, more nationally known company, so we decided to hire them. BIG MISTAKE! Lesson #1: Trying to save a buck could cost a lot more money in the long run and a lot more headaches than necessary. It’s better to pay extra if it meant dealing with a more recognized, and more reliable moving company. The key is to ask for references – people who have used them before and find out what they have to say. Another thing to do is research the internet for customer reviews. Back then, internet reviews weren’t as readily available as they are today. You have to invest a lot of time in research.

I sometimes wonder… that maybe it was just because our move got complicated. Our household goods were scheduled to be shipped and delivered to South Carolina, but things did not work out for us in there. In a short turn around, we had to move to Texas. So we had our household goods diverted – shipped and delivered to Texas. This is where the problem came in. Lesson #2: Do not rush into shipping your household goods to your destination. Instead, rent a storage space to store them. You can always get them later once you are stable and firmly rooted in your new location. Nationwide, the moving company, charged us few thousand dollars more to have our stuff delivered to Texas. I was confused and puzzled by this. Commonsense tells me, our household goods were still in Las Vegas, and Texas is several hundred miles closer to Las Vegas than to South Carolina. But Nationwide had the upper hand in this situation. If we weren’t willing to pay the additional money they demanded, they weren’t going to deliver our household goods. They had us by the neck; our stuff held hostage. We if we had to do the whole thing over, we would have just let them keep our stuff and started over. But there were a lot of things that were very sentimental to us. So we coughed up the money and paid. Lesson #3: Don’t let your emotions get in the way because it is going to cost you. Be ready to say: Fuck it and cut your losses while you’re ahead.

When my husband was in the military, the military paid for all the moving expenses, including our travel and temporary lodging. We didn’t have to worry about choosing a mover; the military took care of that. And then when he retired, we could choose a place – another city, or another state where we want to move and retire and the military would move us one last time… But life outside the military is different. Very different.

Years ago, I used to wonder why a lot of people move themselves. This was back when the military paid for our move. We’ll be on the road driving to another state, our new military base, and we’d see people driving huge U-Haul or Penske trucks, sometimes, towing a car in the back. Or the wife drives the family car and follows the husband. We’d say to ourselves: Why can’t this people just hire a mover and ship their household goods? It’s certainly much easier to just drive to your destination, in your car. And when you reached your destination, your new home, your stuff would be there waiting for you, instead of going through all this trouble driving a big U-Haul or Penske truck. Well… now we certainly know why. At minimum, it is $3,000 – $5,000 difference on your pocket, maybe more. And if you move yourself, at least you are guaranteed to have your household goods, in fair shape, when you get to your destination. So moving in a U-Haul or Penske truck with our household goods is now our preferred method. And this is even more so if you have a limited moving expense budget, and cannot afford to ‘pay an arm and a leg’ to the unscrupulous, shadowy moving companies. It’s cheaper and fewer headaches.

Despite of all these factors… moving can be a life changing event. It takes you out of your rut and of stagnation.

~~~

From all the moving we’ve done throughout the years, we learned plenty of valuable lessons that could save you money, headaches and pain. Learn from our mistakes.  Consider these things before you move:

• Research a place, a city, or a state where you are more likely to find a job. The bigger the city the better.

When we were in Las Vegas, a city with over 1.8 million populations, we had a dream of living in a small town. Thinking that living in small town would be so much cheaper and better. WRONG!
We discovered this by living in Abilene, Texas, a city with population just a little over 120,000. The housing – single family homes and apartments are expensive, and not much to choose from. Restaurant prices are no cheaper if not more expensive than the ones located in major cities. Though we found that one of the reasons why small town like this is expensive is because of the military base present here. The businesses – real estate developers and apartment owners knows that the military personnel receive a monthly housing allowance of between $771 – $1,134 depending on rank, for enlisted without dependents (no wife and children), and significantly more – $1,005 – $1,485 if you are married with with children; even more – $946 – $1,824 per month if you are a commissioned officer. So the housing and apartment rental rates in this town are based on these allowances. If you are not in the military and are living in a small town like Abilene, you are pretty much resigned to living in poor areas with the only housing you can afford. My advice? Do not live in a small town with military base. You are better off living in a big city with more job opportunities. Don’t feel like you are stuck. MOVE!

• If possible, it would be very beneficial to visit and survey the city a few months ahead before your pending move. This is called “reconnaissance mission” in the military. While there, make note of important information i.e., nice and safe temporary housing or extended stay hotels and suites, proximity to major interstate highways, parks, shopping center, etc. Anything that will make yours and your family’s life a little easier and convenient in a new city. If you don’t have the time and money to visit the place in advance, it’s OK. Just make sure you do as much research about the place before you move. You can do the rest once you get there.

• Assess your resources. How much money – cash in hand or in the bank do you currently have? What’s your available credit limit? With the money you currently have, how long can you survive with that money before you need to have money to start coming in? Meaning. how long can you afford to not have a job?  With the advent of online banking, where you can access your money virtually anywhere, anyplace and anytime, people can now live anywhere in the United States or any country in the world for that matter.

• How are you going to move? If you’ve sold most of your belongings i.e., extra car, furniture, and other household items, then there’s not that much to take with you. You could just rent a U-Haul and fill it with what you’ve decided keep and your most valuable possessions. Tow your car in the back if you have to. If you are married and have kids, and you own two vehicles, you’re wife can drive the other car with your children aboard. If you are single and moving alone then you have less to worry about.

• Decide where you are going to stay. If you are new to a city, your best bet would be to find an extended stay hotel with full kitchen. There are plenty out there to choose from: Homewood Suites, Candlewood Suites, Residence Inn by Marriott, Budget Suites of America, Homestead Suites, Extended Stay Hotels and Suites, and etc. The whole point of this is to find a place where you can settle temporarily, while you are looking for a job and getting to know the city. So that when you do find a job, you can then find an ideal place for you and your family. I would not buy a house right away. Staying in an apartment with a 3 – 6 six month lease keeps you mobile in case your new job doesn’t work out and you have to move someplace else.

Depending on what city you are moving into, most extended stay hotels will allow you to pay affront, for the whole month, to avoid paying taxes which can range between 12 – 16% or more. But I would suggest paying weekly during the first week or two so you can move to another hotel if you are not happy. And if you are happy with the hotel, you can always ask for their monthly rate. Though keep in mind that once you pay upfront, most extended stay hotels may not be willing to refund your money if you decide to check out sooner.

With extended stay hotels and suites, all utilities are covered. They may charge a small one-time fee to use the internet. Housekeeping may or may not be included; in some cases the hotel will charge you a small amount for a full housekeeping service once a week. Most extended stay hotels and suites have full kitchen with full refrigerator, stove with four burners and ovens (in some places), microwave ovens, kitchen utensils such as pots and pans, plates, forks and spoons, etc. They also have on-site coin laundry. I don’t like to their towels. So I bring my own. NOTE: Be sure to ask if you could see the room before you pay. And check for the items listed above. You do not want to get stuck in a place you don’t like for a whole month.

Before you start searching for an apartment, make a checklist of what’s important to you and your family. For me my checklist usually looks like this:

Kitchen:
• 2 large, deep sinks
• Plenty of cabinet space
• Plenty of counter space
• Good ventilation
• Good oven and stove – not old and rusty
• Good dishwasher

Bathroom:
• Large tub OR strong, good flowing shower
• Large counter space
• Good amount of drawers and cabinets
• Full size toilet – enough room around it
• Good sink and faucet

Laundry:
• Full size washer and dryer connection
• Linen/towel closet

Apartment MUST have good reviews:
1. Good, responsive maintenance
2. Friendly staff
3. Safe environment – Low crime area – In addition to seeing the apartment complex during the day, it is also best to drive by at night to see what type activities going on in the area.
Covered parking and plenty of parking space
4. The newer the apartment, the better.  Apartments must not be older than 15 years! Old apartments mean somethings are going to break more often than not. And unless the apartment leasing employ a responsive efficient staff, it might be too much headache and frustration living here.  Also, old apartments are not energy efficient.  Which means your electric bill is going to be very expensive.

• While you are on temporary housing or living in an extended stay hotel, you could rent a storage space to store your belongings so you can return the U-Haul truck. Unless you’ve left them in storage back at your old hometown and would retrieve them later once you are settled.

• Make sure your computer and printer are easily accessible. You are going to need these equipments while you are staying in an extended stay hotel. In addition to updating your resume, writing thank you and follow up letters, it is much easier to get around if you have a printed map of the local places you need to go such as banks, grocery stores, public parks and recreation areas , etc. Getting maps and detailed directions to local places are readily available from Google Maps.

• Have computer games or PlayStation game console and games, and extra monitor available for your kids to play with. This should keep them entertained and busy so they won’t be bored out of their minds.

• Bring several interesting books for you, your spouse and your children to read.

• Bring plenty of bath and kitchen towels. I do not like the towels in some of these hotels so I bring enough for the whole family.

• Two weeks before you move, fill out a change of address form at the U.S. Post Office. And then rent a mailbox at Mail Boxes Etc. or UPS Stores and have your mail sent here. For additional fees, Mail Box Etc. (MBE) can hold and forward your mail and packages wherever you are. So this way you don’t ever have to ask favors from your relatives and friends, and you’ll get your mail.

Below is a list of food items to buy and cook when you are on a budget:

• rice – white or brown rice. I like to cook my rice the old fashioned way, and I prefer Jasmine rice.
• sardines
• ramen noodles (known to be staples for young adults who don’t have much money and who don’t know how to cook
• baked beans
• Campbell Chunky Stew and Soups
• canned chili
• canned fruit
• microwavable vegetables (Birdseye Steamfresh is good and in expensive
• frozen and microwavable beef and bean burritos
• bottled water (it’s cheaper to buy them by the case at Sam’s Club)
• Panda Express Chinese food – If I’m going to eat fast food, I would rather eat Panda Express. They are available in most big cities. You can have a good satisfying meal, with 2 entrees plus chowmein, fried rice or noodles for only $6.48

This is just a  list to get you going. You could add your favorite foods on this list.

~~~

I usually make this chili with my own blend of spices and seasoning. But when I’m with Ramon, I don’t have access to my varied spices that I have at home. So… I use the good ole McCormick chili seasoning mix. And then very recently, I have been serving my chili with Indian bread called Naan. A bread made from tandoori oven. It taste slightly sweet and chewy. I now prefer to eat my chili like this instead of eating it with corn tortilla chips. Again, I always cook a lot. So this recipe serves six people or more.

Hot Kickin’ Chili Too!

2 pounds ground beef – 96% lean
6 TBSPs. Olive oil – divided
5 garlic cloves – minced
1 large red or yellow onion – diced
3 large jalapeno peppers – seeded and chopped
2 packets McCormick Chili Seasoning Mix (I like the HOT one.)
2 tsps. dried oregano
½ tsp. ground black pepper
2 dried bay leaves
1/2 TBSP. coarse sea salt (adjust according to taste)
1 – 28 ounces can crushed tomatoes
2 – 15 ounces can dark red kidney beans – undrained
Juice of 1 large lime
½ cup firmly packed chopped cilantro
4 stalks green onions
Garnish: grated cheddar cheese and sour cream

Brown ground beef in 3 tablespoons olive in an 8 quart pot. Drain meat and set aside.

Using the same pot, heat the remaining 3 tablespoons olive oil and sauté onions until translucent. Stir the garlic and jalapeno peppers and sauté a few minutes.

Add ground beef into the sautéed onions, garlic and jalapeno mixture. Stir to blend. Add the two packets of chili seasoning mix, dried oregano, ground black pepper, and dried bay leaves. Stir to combine.

Add the crushed tomatoes, undrained kidney beans,and sea salt.

Stir and bring mixture to a boil over medium heat, while stirring occasionally to avoid scorching the bottom. Lower the heat and simmer chili for about 30 minutes, while stirring occasionally.

Taste for additional salt and black pepper.

Add chopped cilantro and chopped green onions a few minutes before serving.

Top each serving with grated cheddar cheese and sour cream if you like.

Serve chili with warm Naan bread or tortilla corn chips and Fritos corn scoops or chips on the side.

NOTE: Follow the heating instruction on the package for Naan bread. Naan bread is available at Wal-Mart in their bakery section, and in other supermarkets.  It cost $2.50 per pack at Wal-Mart and slightly more at other supermarkets.

There are 2 pieces of Naan bread in each pack.  Allow 1 – 2 breads per person.

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess

My Proven Methods on How to Survive on the Road

Eighteen years…

That’s how long it took for me to realize and pay attention to a few things I must do when I am on the road, driving long distance.  By long distance, I mean, driving in the car longer than two hours.  And the few things I learned after all these years make a difference between enjoying the trip and suffering.

Driving is stressful, both physically and mentally.  And the stress doubles when driving at night and in hazardous condition such as snow and heavy rain.  It’s tiring even if you are just a passenger, because sitting in one position for hours on end, hinders our blood circulation.

I remember when I first learned how to drive.  It was barely three months since I arrived here in the U.S.  Ramon was only five months old, and we moved from South Carolina to Jacksonville, Arkansas – Willie’s new military assignment.  In his job, he had to travel a lot, away from home.  When we arrived at his new assignment, he was to be deployed to another city for a temporary duty and therefore only have 30 days to teach me how to drive.  That meant – within 30 days I had to learn how to drive… and get my driver’s license.  Or I and our five month old baby will be stuck in the apartment, while he is gone, and nowhere to go.   And we both know this is not going to work.  At minimum, I had to be able to go to the grocery store to buy food.

At first learning how to drive wasn’t so bad.  He enrolled me in a three day class, for one hour each day.  The driving instructor was boasting my confidence, but in reality it was a FALSE confidence, because after that first day, when Willie had me practiced driving in a parking lot, he was horrified.  He thought: “Oh my fucking god!  She didn’t learn shit from that driving course.  And the worst thing is… she thinks she can drive! What the fuck!  If I let her think she can drive, she’s going to kill herself… and my son.  Oh no no no… NO!

So… he pulled me out of that driving course and taught me himself.

Every day, for the next 30 days after work, he taught me how to drive.  It was hard.  It was frustrating.  For me and especially for him.

He said:  “You have got to be the worst, most hard headed student I’ve ever taught…” And each time we were on the road, I scared the bee Jesus out of him…

I was like, well… what do you expect?  I was never around cars when I was growing up.  We walked everywhere! And if we didn’t walk, we boarded small boats, jeepneys and buses…

Never in my young life had I dreamed of learning how to drive!

But of course… there are a lot of things that happened in my life that I never, ever imagine or expected.  Like marrying an American.  And coming to the United States.  This is just how life is.  It takes us in places we never expect…

Here in America, driving is a NECESSITY not a luxury.  Yes, there are buses, especially in big cities.  But in smaller towns, it is impractical to think that I can get around in a bus.  And besides, I find it demeaning to take a bus.  I know it’s hypocritical considering where I come from.  But that’s how I feel.  And that’s why I had to learn how to drive.  It really wasn’t a choice, in my case, it was survival. I had a young son to take care of while living in a new country, in a new city with no one to turn to.

So despite of my hardheadedness… I learned how to drive.  Not great at first.  But I got my license within 30 days.  Just in time before Willie left for his TDY (military term for “temporary duty.”) I didn’t know how I got it… but I got it.

It was very scary.

I survived three car accidents during my first three years of driving.  The first one was very minor – I hit another car in a parking lot.  The second one involved another car.  I was making a left turn and got hit by an oncoming car.  Both incidents were my fault.  The third one, I was involved in a “hit and run” accident.  I was getting ready to get on the interstate in Little Rock, Arkansas and I was hit by a red pick-up truck on my right side. The driver, knowing that he hit me, just sped off into the highway.  I was so furious, I was cursing: motherfucker, sona-mabitch…how dare you hit me and just drive away… I was so angry! Red, hot steams must have been oozing out of my head.  I stopped thinking.  I took off after that truck.  But the traffic was so heavy that I lost him.  Finally, after 5 miles of chase… I pulled over at a gas station and called my husband, and called the police. My husband was horrified on what I had done.  He couldn’t believe I actually tried to chase the guy who had hit me, while our son was in the back seat!

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He asked angrily, after he made sure Ramon and I were alright.

“What do you mean? That guy hit me and did not stop.  He hit me…!” I defensively fired back.

“But that guy could have pulled out a gun and shoot you and my son! Did you realize that?!” he’s still pissed off and horrified.

“I didn’t care.  I was going to get him back! You can’t hit me and get away with it!”  That’s how silly I get when I am mad.  All common sense goes out the window.

This is not the first time I had done something like this – chasing after somebody.  Several years before in the Philippines, in Angeles City, I was in the market with my sister shopping for Christmas.  When all of a sudden, a guy yanked an 18 karat gold chain off my neck.  Over a split second, when I realized what had just happened, I took off running after the guy.  All I could think of was:  Oh shit, my husband is going to chew my ass for wearing jewelry to the market.  He’s warned me not to do it because I might get mugged.  But I did not heed his advice.  I would rather wrestle the mugger than face my husband’s wrath. And because of me running and yelling after the mugger, I alerted the cop, who stopped the mugger, who dropped my necklace so he won’t be caught “red handed with it.”  I got my necklace back, and only sustained bruised and painful feet.

When I came home I told my husband what had happened.  He said:  “You’re crazy! I can’t believe you did that.  What if the guy had other accomplices, so that… one could have stabbed you while the real mugger kept on running?”

I’m thinking:  Hmmm…he’s right, while suddenly having a sick feeling in my stomach.

My last auto accident happened 17 years ago, and I never had an accident since.  (Knocking on wood and crossing my fingers.) I have so much more sense now compared to back then, it’s unbelievable.  I guess it comes with getting older and becoming mature.

I have also learned so much from my experience of driving long distances.

During this past 4 weeks, I have driven over 5,000 miles (roughly over 8,000 kilometers) between Tulsa, Abilene, Dallas and Fort Worth. And good thing I now have a proven method on how to make my life easier on the road.  And believe me, it wasn’t always like this.

Here are the things I do before I get on the road:

(1) Map out my route.  Thank god for Google Maps, knowing exactly where I’m going and mapping out my exact route is a breeze.  I print out a detailed directions and maps for my whole trip.  So I know exactly what exits and turns I need to make.

(2) I make a note of the towns in between my route.  How far apart are these towns?  This is good information, in case something bad happened and I get stranded on the road, and in case I need to use a restroom, when rest areas are not available.  I also plan ahead where I am going to refill my gas tank.  For example:  A good stopping point between Abilene and Oklahoma City is Walters, Oklahoma.  I gas up here, take restroom breaks and eat if I’m hungry.

(3) The night before my trip, and before I go to bed, I drink a quart of Pedialyte to hydrate my body.  And then, I drink another one when I wake up, preferably three hours before I hit the road.

From years of suffering while on the road, I learned that I cannot drink at least two hours before I hit the road.  This way I can avoid using the restroom for two to three hours.  And I cannot eat.  I like to drive in an empty stomach.  If I do eat, it’d be stuff like macadamia nuts, peppered beef jerky, and chocolate.  These are foods that keep me awake and alert.  And then I wash it off with a gulp of Pedialyte.  Not a lot… just a gulp.

“Pedialyte is better than water in keeping our bodies hydrated.  It’s like getting an IV.” According to my husband.  He learned this trick from a Para Rescue guy while he was in the military, in an elite unit.  And he’s saved my life countless times with Pedialyte.

I remember one afternoon in my office while working in Las Vegas.  My left arm started to feel numb.  And then about half an hour later, my left body, down to my legs started to feel numb too.  I panicked.  I thought I was getting ready to have a heart attack.  I called my husband:

“Honeyko… I don’t feel good.  The left side of my body feels numb.  My left arm… my leg… I think I am getting ready to have a heart attack. Should I call 911?” I was afraid and in tears.  I’m only 38 years old. How could this happen?

“No… Tell you what.  Come home right now! Can you drive?” he asked with a concerned voice.

“Yeah… I think so…”

“Are you sure…?

“Yeah…”

By the time I got home, he had already went to Wal-Greens and bought several bottles of Pedialyte.

From his years of experience in the field, he knew I was simply dehydrated and knew exactly what to do.  He had me drank one bottle (32 ounces) of Pedialyte every 2½ hours.  And since my body temperature was also high, he put me in a tub of ice.

That night I felt much better… This was my first introduction to Pedialyte…

(4) Whether I am driving alone or I am with Willie or Ramon, I make sure I have the following items:

• Cash – between $100 – $200.  This is to be used for food and drinks, and in cases where I can’t use my debit or credit card. (My husband taught me this from his many years of traveling around the world.)

• Drinks: (a) small bottles (8 ounces) of Pedialyte, so I can sip on them if I feel thirsty.  My body uses this more effectively than water.  (b) Diamond tea.  I drink this as my last resort, if I can shake off my sleepiness.  (c) And a case of bottled water.  In case we get stuck in the middle of nowhere.

• Snacks:  macadamia nuts, beef jerky (Ramon introduced me to peppered beef steak  jerky, and I like it), and chocolate.  I like chocolate, though messy to eat, because of its caffeine and minimal sugar content.  I usually like the Lindt chocolate bars.

• Music.  My husband and I have similar taste in music.  Really… I think most of the music I listen to are the same music he listens to.  He introduced me to most of them.  When I am driving, I like to listen to music I am familiar with and can sing along to.  During the first leg of the trip, my adrenalin is usually high, so my husband suggested I listen to slow music to calm me down, so I usually listen to Christopher Cross, The Beatles, The Bee Gees, and Jim Croce, etc..  And I listen to The Very Best of Doors and Lenny Kravitz’s Greatest Hits during the last leg of the trip, where I need to kick my energy high to reach my destination

• Misc. items: paper towels, toilet paper, and microfiber kitchen towel to clean my glasses.  I always like to have a clean, clear eyeglasses and sunglasses especially when I’m driving.  So… I make sure I bring a microfiber towel – usually a microfiber kitchen towel that’s been washed and dried without fabric softener.  Way better than the little cloths you get from the optical shop.

• EMERGENCY Supplies other than what’s listed above:

>Band-Aid

> Peroxide

> Antibiotic Ointment

> Cortisone cream or ointment

> Dimetapp (the only cold and allergy medicine we all could tolerate)

>Children’s Motrin Fever Reducer (good for me and Ramon)

> Activated Charcoal Capsules (I used this a lot especially if I eat food that I have no tolerance for)

> Flashlight

> Candles and matches

> Heavy blanket (during winter season)

> Long – heavy coats, hats and gloves (during winter)

(5) Decide who is going to drive and who is going to navigate.  If I am with Willie and Ramon… I usually drive the first leg of the trip, and then Willie drives the other half.  But when I am with Ramon, I do most of the driving.  I have more confidence in my driving skills than with my navigating skills.  And since Ramon is a great navigator, I have him navigate, especially when we are going to a big city we have never been before.

(5) If I can help it… I prefer to drive during the day.  I find the drive to be more enjoyable during the day than at night.  Besides, my vision is much better during the day.

(6) Observe the rules of the road:

• Keep enough distance from the vehicle in front of you; do not tail gate.  (I think one of my pet peeves when driving are people who tailgate and cut in front of me.)  I keep a good distance away from the vehicle in front of me especially when driving at a high rate of speed.
• If possible, I do not like to be behind big trucks and trailers.  Long ago, my husband told me:  “Try and stay away from these big trucks.  Stay away from their rear, and do not stay beside them.  Their big tires blow off all the time, and when it does, the debris could hit your windshield and cause you to have an accident.  It could mean a life and death situation.”
• Drive within the speed limit.  I might drive 3 miles over the speed limit, but that’s it, unless I am passing another vehicle, and then I maintain my normal speed.  So this way, I don’t risk getting a speeding ticket. And besides, Ramon is my ‘speed patrol.” He reminds me when I’m speeding! He adheres to the principle of “haste makes waste.”
• Have my headlights turned on when it’s dark and cloudy, and especially when it’s raining.

(7) Drink more Pedialyte when I reach my destination.  I am certain that I am dehydrated again after 3 – 6 hours of driving.  So instead of drinking water, I quickly hydrate my body with more Pedialyte – one 32-ounce bottle, every 2½ before I go to bed.  When I week up the next day, I feel rested and refreshed .

I will add more this list as I learn along the way.

~~~

These cashews are so good, they’re highly addictive!

These are great especially on the day they are made, and they stay fresh in 3 days at room temperature and one week if stored in the refrigerator.  Though I try not to eat sugary stuff when I’m on the road… I like to snack on something like this once I get to my destination, especially when we are staying at a hotel.  It’s cheaper and better than buying snacks from the vending machine.

I just make them a few days before my scheduled trip, and pack them in plastic containers.

You need the following tools and equipment, and ingredients to make these:

Kitchen Tools and Equipment:

1 large cookie sheet lined with parchment paper

Wooden spoon or spatula

2 quart heavy bottomed sauce pan

1 quart sauce pan for boiling water

When making candy or other sweet confection, I always have a pot of hot water to hold the spoons or spatulas, and other utensils I am using.

Also I prefer to line the cookie sheet with parchment paper as oppose to oiling it. However, if you don’t have access to parchment paper, you can go ahead and just butter the cookie sheet so that the candy won’t stick to the pan.

Since my goal for this recipe is to have crystallized sugar coating on the cashews, I kept stirring the sugar syrup throughout the entire process.

You will note that I did not use a candy thermometer for this recipe.  I pretty much just gauged it based on the consistency of the sugar syrup – not too thick.

Ingredients:

1 pound roasted cashew nuts

½ cup brown sugar – firmly packed

¼ cup granulated sugar

¼ cup raw cane sugar

¼ cup water

3 TBSPs. coconut oil – available in health food stores, (you may use 4 TBSPs. butter in place of coconut oil)

½ tsp. coarse sea salt – the best is Celtic sea salt

In a 2 quart heavy bottomed sauce pan, combine all the sugars (brown, granulated and raw cane sugar), water and salt.

Over medium heat, stir the sugar mixture with wooden spoon until all sugars and salt are dissolved.

Bring sugar syrup to a boil, stirring constantly, until syrup is slightly thick, about 4 or 5 minutes.

Add the coconut oil and roasted cashews. Keep stirring until the cashews are well coated with the sugar syrup, and until the syrup is reduced and has thickened into a soft caramel texture. (This process will take about 4 or 5 minutes.)

Immediately pour and spread cashews into the cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.

Cool to handle and then separate the cashews into small clusters or individual pieces.  Store in plastic container or tin containers.

Serve as snacks, appetizer, and travel food.

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess

Eat Your Rum and Drink Your Pork

“Dad… wake up!” the little girl shaking his father on the left shoulder.

“Huhh…?  ssshhhhhh… ssshhhh…” the father snored while leaning his head on a big rock.

“Dad… c’mon, let’s go!  Let’s go home…!”

“It’s getting dark and I’m scared…” the little girl is now on the verge of crying.

This man is my dad.  He is drunk.  He is too drunk too keep walking and so he laid down right in the middle of the dirt path beside a big rock.  We are about 3 miles from our nipa hut, five miles away from the town.

As a little girl, I always wanted to go with my dad wherever he  went.  And this day was just one of the days I went with him.  He couldn’t refuse his friend and  drank too many shots of Tanduay Rum while we were in town.  He managed to head home with me… but midway to our nipa hut, he couldn’t keep his eyes open and slump right in the middle of the dirt road… This is not the first time he’s done this – got drunk and slept in the dirt path halfway home.  My mother was hoping that because I am with him, he wouldn’t get too drunk.  But she’s wrong.  I am just a little girl, no match to his friend who was offering him free drinks…

At least this time he is sleeping, instead of going to one of his violent and crazy rage…

Five years back… when I was even younger, probably four years old… I remember running with my little brother, while my mom holding my other youngest brother and youngest sister, yelling:

“Let’s go, Eday (baby)! Let’s go… let’s go.  Hurry!”

I was confused… I was dazed…. I didn’t understand why we were running.  And where we running to…? What’s happening…?

Finally… we arrived at the Barrio Captain’s house, all wet  and covered in mud…

I was sitting on the floor, in the corner, still holding my little brother’s hand, shaking… trembling from fear and exhaustion.  We ran through the rice fields,  and across the muddy and wooded marsh before we reach the small town…

“Mrs… what happened? How can I help you?” asked the Barrio Captain.

“My husband… Please hide us.” said Mrs… in tears and shaking.

“Why? What did he do? Why are you so afraid?” The Barrio Captain with a worried look on his face, wanted to know.

“My husband… He is very angry.  He pulled out his long knife and was going to kill us – me… and my children.  Please hide us? Please!” said Mrs, signaling for me and my little brother to come to her.

She pulled me and my little brother closer to her… She, looking at the Barrio Captain, pleading… look at me and my children… I don’t want to die… I don’t want them to die…please help me…

I don’t exactly remember why my dad was angry that night.  Something must have set him off, but I didn’t know what.  Could it have been my mother? What did she said?  I sensed that he came home drunk again and the slightest thing made him angry…

My father did not drink every day. Not even every week.  He got drunk intermittently.  But when he did, he became aggressive… mean… and very intimidating.  He looked for fights and we hoped that no one would engage him.  We hid when he’s drunk because we were scared he is going to physically hurt us.

My mother… she drank occasionally, at party celebrations.  When she did, her face turned bright red and she’d start crying.  She became depressed.  She strummed her guitar and cried uncontrollably.

~~~

I was 16 when I had my first drink.  It was white, clear, liquid.  Very strong, intense and fiery on the tongue.  I was with my cousin who was 18 and my step sister, who was 19.  We were on our way to the big city… to school.  That night, before we boarded a small boat, our friends – much older than us, persuaded us to have a drink…

“Here, drink some!” Said Renato, pushing the small glass towards me.

“What is that?” turning the glass with my finger.

“How does it taste?” I asked curiously.

“Well, try some and you’ll see.” Renato assured.

I picked up the glass and drank the content.  It burned my throat as the clear liquid went down my esophagus.  I felt my stomach burst into fire.  My head felt funny…  my eyes were seeing double… and the wall was spinning.

I don’t like the taste of straight alcohol and my body has low tolerance for it.  I very,  rarely drink, and won’t drink any alcohol unless it is camouflaged with sweet juices or sweet syrup. And even this, I can’t drink that much.

But… I like how some alcohol make certain dishes taste.  So I often use medium dry sherry or white wine in my sauces and marinades.  I use white wine with chicken and pork, and red for beef dishes.

Here in this dish, I used Myer’s 100% Jamaican Rum.  Dark rums are ideal for cooking.  It makes food and sauces very flavorful.

Pork Steaks with Rum Barbecue Sauce

Serves 3

3 large pork blade steaks – about 3 pounds

Sweet RUM Barbecue Sauce:

¼ cup firmly packed brown sugar

½ cup ketchup

¼ cup soy sauce

¼ cup hoisen sauce

2 TBSPs. dark rum

1 TBSP. genuine wasabi or 2 TBSPs. deli style mustard with horseradish

1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

4 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled

Combine sauce ingredients in a medium size glass bowl.  Stir until well blended and smooth.  Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400°F.

Line a heavy duty cookie sheet with heavy strength foil.

Wash pork steaks and pat dry with paper towels and place them on foiled lined baking sheet.  Using a pastry brush, liberally brush pork steaks, on one side with the barbecue sauce.

Roast pork steaks in a preheated oven at 400°F for 30 minutes.

Remove pork steaks from the oven and pour off excess liquid.

(Usually, I  temporarily transfer them into a large plate, while I pour the liquid from the baking sheet.)

Turn the pork steaks on the other side and again, liberrally brush with the barbecue sauce.

Return pork steaks to the oven and bake for another 30 minutes.

Serve with rice or potato salad.

OR

Chop pork steaks into small pieces, discarding the bones, and serve pork steaks as sandwiches…

Sweet RUM BBQ Sauce

Pork steaks freshly brushed with the sauce

Enjoy and Happy Cooking!

Tess